There's so much to do!
Thursday, March 31, 2011
One day.
There's so much to do!
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Happiness.
I am a happy person. I smile often, and laugh without holding back. I have family, friends and neighbors that I love. I try to always live in the moment. I can find joy in my mistakes, as well as my accomplishments. I try to always resolve conflicts within my friendships. I eat what will makes me feel good about myself. I don't hold grudges because I know that life is too short to stay mad. I spend time within nature to remind myself of how small I am. I try to give back to the earth as much as possible. I wonder and dream. I create art and express myself through creative expression.
We live in a world where it is not only possible, but thought normal to hate yourself, your friends and strangers. We live in a world where finding flaws in others characters is an every day occurrence. A world where family members hate each other, and hold grudges that keep them from talking for years on end. We live in a world where food does not nourish our bodies, but helps to destroy it. A world where where being happy and smiling to others is considered strange. A world where we have GOOD days. This is a world where conflict is resolved through violence. We live in a world where destruction of the earth is deemed progress. A world where sitting in each others company is not enough, we must be in more places than the present.
I find it hard to remind myself that I am different. I find it a struggle everyday to stay true to what I believe. I find my smile sagging, my hopes crushed. When this happens- I start with the good. As we are already surrounded with bad. I start with the little things. I remember my family, the ones that make me laugh. I listen to nature- reminding myself that I am a small piece in this large puzzling world. I learn to laugh at myself. I find a new way to enjoy my time. I eat a new food. I make myself find ten things I love about myself. I find ten things I like in someone else. At times it may be a struggle, at times it may be easier to conform to anger, to hatred. Yet, when I imagine a world, when I choose to live another day the way I was raised, the way that makes me feel good about myself. I can see that one day, others... they may not change, but they will begin to take notice to the small things. They will not take for granted the ones that care for them, the ones that make them smile. They will choose to see that the earth that we live on is sacred, and should be treated as such.
They will be happy.
"Let us be grateful for people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom."
-Marcel Proust
We live in a world where it is not only possible, but thought normal to hate yourself, your friends and strangers. We live in a world where finding flaws in others characters is an every day occurrence. A world where family members hate each other, and hold grudges that keep them from talking for years on end. We live in a world where food does not nourish our bodies, but helps to destroy it. A world where where being happy and smiling to others is considered strange. A world where we have GOOD days. This is a world where conflict is resolved through violence. We live in a world where destruction of the earth is deemed progress. A world where sitting in each others company is not enough, we must be in more places than the present.
I find it hard to remind myself that I am different. I find it a struggle everyday to stay true to what I believe. I find my smile sagging, my hopes crushed. When this happens- I start with the good. As we are already surrounded with bad. I start with the little things. I remember my family, the ones that make me laugh. I listen to nature- reminding myself that I am a small piece in this large puzzling world. I learn to laugh at myself. I find a new way to enjoy my time. I eat a new food. I make myself find ten things I love about myself. I find ten things I like in someone else. At times it may be a struggle, at times it may be easier to conform to anger, to hatred. Yet, when I imagine a world, when I choose to live another day the way I was raised, the way that makes me feel good about myself. I can see that one day, others... they may not change, but they will begin to take notice to the small things. They will not take for granted the ones that care for them, the ones that make them smile. They will choose to see that the earth that we live on is sacred, and should be treated as such.
They will be happy.
"Let us be grateful for people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom."
-Marcel Proust
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
The Toilet Monster
This is not something that I would admit everyday. But I am growing up, my fears have faded and if this isn't the place to admit and confess to the world that I was scared to flush the toilet for two thirds of my life than I don't know where is.
There I said it.
I was afraid to flush the toilet for two thirds of my life. It was a truly reasonable fear I'll have you know. And it's gotten better, I'm not afraid anymore, I have no problem pressing the handle and watching the water swirl. I used to be so scared that I wouldn't go in the bathroom without another person. I could blame it on the toilet monster, but really how it all got started was my sister wild imagination and her love to strike fear within me.
It began when I was probably four or five... The age where my sister was the coolest girl in the world. We would spend hours and hours in the bathtub, making up stories and washing our hair over and over again. I was at that age in my life where I would believe anything that she told me. This lead me to believe some pretty strange things for wayyyy too long. She convinced me that dinosaurs were still alive, roaming around the world, hiding from humans, and eating young girls like me. She convinced me that I was adopted, and that I was the least favorite child (that one still messes with my head sometimes.)
Anyways, it was in the bathtub where we sat when my sister spouted the lie that would have me shaking with fear every time that I even looked at a toilet for a good portion of my life.
This is a true story- it is burned into my memory. Trust me, when you are scared of something for so long, these types of conversations seem to have an impact on you...
She put her serious face while she was sitting with me in the tub, and spoke in a tone of doom and death,
"Hannah, do you know that there is a Toilet Monster?"
"Nooooooo there isn't!"
"Yup" My sister said as she looked at me, and then looked at the toilet across the bathroom.
"My best friend Susie got eaten by it."
I was still in disbelief... I wasn't that easy to convince. "You don't even HAVE a friend named Susie." I said, trying to prove her wrong.
"I did, you didn't meet her because she was eaten... by the Toilet Monster!" She said her voice getting more and more serious.
I don't remember the rest of the conversation, I don't remember if the fear set in that day, or I got more and more afraid each time that I sat down, hoping and praying that I didn't end up like dear old Susie.
This fear, like most fears in peoples lives, controlled me. I was fearful of even going into a bathroom by myself. I made excuses and held my pee until I was about to burst. Anything was better than being sucked into the vortex of death. My mom didn't understand it, my friends all got confused, thankfully I was home schooled so it wasn't too big of a deal. I used to say that I was afraid of the toilet overflowing, knowing that that was a little bit more normal than being afraid of someone sucking you down the hole, and into the pipes below...
I slowly got over the fear, (and my sister told me that it was all a lie, I think she got sick of accompanying me to the bathroom.)
The moral of the story? Don't let fear control your life and your bladder. AND don't listen to your sister.
There I said it.
I was afraid to flush the toilet for two thirds of my life. It was a truly reasonable fear I'll have you know. And it's gotten better, I'm not afraid anymore, I have no problem pressing the handle and watching the water swirl. I used to be so scared that I wouldn't go in the bathroom without another person. I could blame it on the toilet monster, but really how it all got started was my sister wild imagination and her love to strike fear within me.
It began when I was probably four or five... The age where my sister was the coolest girl in the world. We would spend hours and hours in the bathtub, making up stories and washing our hair over and over again. I was at that age in my life where I would believe anything that she told me. This lead me to believe some pretty strange things for wayyyy too long. She convinced me that dinosaurs were still alive, roaming around the world, hiding from humans, and eating young girls like me. She convinced me that I was adopted, and that I was the least favorite child (that one still messes with my head sometimes.)
Anyways, it was in the bathtub where we sat when my sister spouted the lie that would have me shaking with fear every time that I even looked at a toilet for a good portion of my life.
This is a true story- it is burned into my memory. Trust me, when you are scared of something for so long, these types of conversations seem to have an impact on you...
She put her serious face while she was sitting with me in the tub, and spoke in a tone of doom and death,
"Hannah, do you know that there is a Toilet Monster?"
"Nooooooo there isn't!"
"Yup" My sister said as she looked at me, and then looked at the toilet across the bathroom.
"My best friend Susie got eaten by it."
I was still in disbelief... I wasn't that easy to convince. "You don't even HAVE a friend named Susie." I said, trying to prove her wrong.
"I did, you didn't meet her because she was eaten... by the Toilet Monster!" She said her voice getting more and more serious.
I don't remember the rest of the conversation, I don't remember if the fear set in that day, or I got more and more afraid each time that I sat down, hoping and praying that I didn't end up like dear old Susie.
This fear, like most fears in peoples lives, controlled me. I was fearful of even going into a bathroom by myself. I made excuses and held my pee until I was about to burst. Anything was better than being sucked into the vortex of death. My mom didn't understand it, my friends all got confused, thankfully I was home schooled so it wasn't too big of a deal. I used to say that I was afraid of the toilet overflowing, knowing that that was a little bit more normal than being afraid of someone sucking you down the hole, and into the pipes below...
I slowly got over the fear, (and my sister told me that it was all a lie, I think she got sick of accompanying me to the bathroom.)
The moral of the story? Don't let fear control your life and your bladder. AND don't listen to your sister.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Pinwheels
For my brothers upcoming wedding we have been plenty busy with arts and crafts. And I (being the artsy one in the family) have been helping to make all sorts of fun projects. Number one on the list... Pinwheels! I am obsessed! They are fun, colorful and easy to make. You can use them for all sorts of things, we are going to use them to line the walk-way where the guests make their way to the reception. But we had an idea to fill a vase with them, instead of flowers, or somehow make them to go in your hair! If you are feeling creative, or a little bored all you will need is...
1. Paper (We used scrap-booking paper.)
2. Scissors
3. A push-pin
4. A wooden dowel
5. Creativity and a little arm strength
1. Paper (We used scrap-booking paper.)
2. Scissors
3. A push-pin
4. A wooden dowel
5. Creativity and a little arm strength
 |
| Fold into halves diagonal. |
 |
| Cut about 2/3 of the way down along each of the creases |
 |
| take every other point and poke it onto the pin |
 |
| once you have all of the points attached stick the push pin through the back of the paper at the center. |
 |
| then, use that arm strength, and push the final product onto a dowel |
 |
| finished! |
 |
| Just one of the many colorful projects we finished! |
A Peaceful Time.
The world is quiet, not a soul in sight.
Everything's perfect when you turn out the lights.
I am home for the break, and I packed shorts, expecting that it would be at least a little bit warmer than being up at school. Boy was I mistaken. I should have packed more jackets. I should have known that the rain would follow me home.
The rain and blustery winds last night made all of the power go out on our farm, and in the whole valley where we live. The whole world seems to stand still when the power goes off. I remember watching the storm rolling in when I was little, hoping and wishing that the powerful gusts would make the world go dark. I was scared of the dark, I'm still scared of the dark, but when the lights went off, the candles would come out and the whole family would come a little closer. My mom and dad would have to stop working, my brothers and sister couldn't ignore me by drowning me out with technology. The world seemed simple and kind.
Last night I was brought back to those times. One of my favorite memories growing up was when all of the power went off and a thunder and lightning storm took over the whole sky. The family sat covered in blankets on the couch, watching out of the window in our living room, exclaiming over each strike of lightning on the hills, jumping and screeching as the only burst of light around shook us in our skins. Then we sat counting each second until we could hear the thunder roll and grumble making us shudder as the storm moved closer and closer.
I love the rain, although I would love to be out suntanning right now, sitting in the green grass as my pale legs got a few rays of sun. This weather, although a little chilly, makes me remember and reminisce on times where everything was just a little simpler.
Everything's perfect when you turn out the lights.
I am home for the break, and I packed shorts, expecting that it would be at least a little bit warmer than being up at school. Boy was I mistaken. I should have packed more jackets. I should have known that the rain would follow me home.
The rain and blustery winds last night made all of the power go out on our farm, and in the whole valley where we live. The whole world seems to stand still when the power goes off. I remember watching the storm rolling in when I was little, hoping and wishing that the powerful gusts would make the world go dark. I was scared of the dark, I'm still scared of the dark, but when the lights went off, the candles would come out and the whole family would come a little closer. My mom and dad would have to stop working, my brothers and sister couldn't ignore me by drowning me out with technology. The world seemed simple and kind.
Last night I was brought back to those times. One of my favorite memories growing up was when all of the power went off and a thunder and lightning storm took over the whole sky. The family sat covered in blankets on the couch, watching out of the window in our living room, exclaiming over each strike of lightning on the hills, jumping and screeching as the only burst of light around shook us in our skins. Then we sat counting each second until we could hear the thunder roll and grumble making us shudder as the storm moved closer and closer.
I love the rain, although I would love to be out suntanning right now, sitting in the green grass as my pale legs got a few rays of sun. This weather, although a little chilly, makes me remember and reminisce on times where everything was just a little simpler.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
University Campus Garden
I have a new dream for my future, and one that seems like a good fit for what I stand for, and that connects me to my past, my family, and to my dreams. I have always loved helping people, and love the feeling and smell of mud under my toes. My family's farm has always intimidated me because of its large size and fast-paced lifestyle. I have always know that I want to experience living in other towns, and city's that are so unlike the place I was raised. I have worked at a summer camp where I connect students of all ages to food, and the earth. I love seeing the looks on their faces as they get continually dirtier over the course of a week, and the extreme change in their attitude as they leave their lives behind and step into the role of "farmer" if only for a week.
My dream is to help start Urban farms and gardens just like this one, where my dreams came alive, all around the United States, and the world. Where students, family members, and lost souls can come and connect to the earth, and connect to the plants that they receive their daily nourishment from. I don't know if this dream will stick, but at the moment, this is what is alive in me. And I can image helping people young and old make a comfortable place to escape from reality while we get our hands dirty dream up a better world.
Friday, March 11, 2011
JUST A NOTE TO SAY...
You should hear the noise my heart makes
When I think of you
Instead of beating one by one
It’s beating two by two
You should see my face lift
When someone shouts your name
My eyes get bright
My cheeks get red
My face feels like a flame
People say to be yourself
Around your special one
Never do I feel the same
When you and I are done
Am I supposed to feel this way?
Tell me is this right?
My feet too big
My tongue too long
My insides at great heights
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
True Story.
My mom loves me the most.
It's hard for me to admit, because I want to be modest and kind to my other siblings. But sometimes, it's so obvious that I feel like it's my duty to tell people. My mom loves me the most. And it's the truth. I have reasons to believe that I will always be the favorite, I mean, sure my mom is bound to have a lapse in judgment sometime where she thinks for a short while that my oldest brother may be the favorite because he will get her grandchildren sooner than I. But, She will always realizes her mistake and find her way back to being my admirer, and her favorite child.
I have created a list of reason for why I am her favorite, I know, this may seem a little extreme, especially because I already know and so do most people. But this is just further proof so that if anyone questions my logic, I have facts to help back me up.
1. I am the youngest.
(this helps because I am the baby, and can do no wrong in her eyes... well there's been a couple times I've made her really mad, but she got over it pretty quickly.)
2. I am the funniest.
(Some MAY argue that my brother is actually funnier than me, but he is only funny when he wants to be, I am funny nonstop.)
3. I go to college far away.
(this makes my mom charish the moments I am home and overlook the small facts and focus on how much she loves me instead.)
4. .......
So this all I can think of at the moment, I am SURE there are more I am just really busy and can't focus on all of them right now. But I don't have to prove anything to anyone, I know I'm the favorite and that's all that matters. All those other times that my mom has said that the others are her favorites, she is totally just doing that to make them feel better about themselves. I know for a fact that I am her favorite and always will.
True story.
It's hard for me to admit, because I want to be modest and kind to my other siblings. But sometimes, it's so obvious that I feel like it's my duty to tell people. My mom loves me the most. And it's the truth. I have reasons to believe that I will always be the favorite, I mean, sure my mom is bound to have a lapse in judgment sometime where she thinks for a short while that my oldest brother may be the favorite because he will get her grandchildren sooner than I. But, She will always realizes her mistake and find her way back to being my admirer, and her favorite child.
I have created a list of reason for why I am her favorite, I know, this may seem a little extreme, especially because I already know and so do most people. But this is just further proof so that if anyone questions my logic, I have facts to help back me up.
1. I am the youngest.
(this helps because I am the baby, and can do no wrong in her eyes... well there's been a couple times I've made her really mad, but she got over it pretty quickly.)
2. I am the funniest.
(Some MAY argue that my brother is actually funnier than me, but he is only funny when he wants to be, I am funny nonstop.)
3. I go to college far away.
(this makes my mom charish the moments I am home and overlook the small facts and focus on how much she loves me instead.)
4. .......
So this all I can think of at the moment, I am SURE there are more I am just really busy and can't focus on all of them right now. But I don't have to prove anything to anyone, I know I'm the favorite and that's all that matters. All those other times that my mom has said that the others are her favorites, she is totally just doing that to make them feel better about themselves. I know for a fact that I am her favorite and always will.
True story.
Summer
I can not wait for summer. It may be my favorite of all the seasons. I think that the only reason I'm saying this is because I haven't seen the sun in so long, all it does is rain, rain, rain, rain, rain. Usually my favorite season is fall. This whole thing is kind of like when my mom says her favorite daughter is my sister, the only reason she says that is because she has been around me for too long and she needs a little switch up. The rain, (as much as I love it) makes me yearn for a change in the weather. It makes me wish that I could feel the rays of sun. Here, if you ever seen the sun, you sure as hell don't feel it. The only thing you feel is cold. I'm talking about the kind of sun that you can tell is making you darker. The sun that makes you want to jump into the cold... luke-warm... water of the river that runs by my house. The kind of sun that you could potentially fry an egg with... (although last summer I tried to and it just made a mess.. it didn't fry a dang thing). The summer reminds me of some wonderful times in my life. It reminds me of tomato fights on my farm, picking watermelon right off the vine, and eating it out in the field when we were too impatient to bring it all the way back to my house. It reminds me of a simpler time. When I would play "little house on the prairie" with my friends. (Until I was at LEAST fourteen.) It reminds me of tubing down the river as my back got increasingly darker, and redder as the trip went on.
Mostly, it reminds me of Fourth of July. The party of a life time. Where I live, we have a get-together with all of the neighbors at our local fire station. This means there is at least 30 people there. When I was younger I lived for this day. The water balloon fight with all of the kids, giggling and laughing as we got soaked with red, white and blue balloons. The enormous amount of red jello that accumulated at the pot-luck along with corn on the cob and sliced watermelon. The best part, in some peoples eyes, was the raffle. This one celebration may have caused a gambling addiction in my family. My brother lives for raffles where cheep bottle of wine, a bird house, and a welcome mat are the nicest prizes. He will spend dollars and dollars of my parents money to win one of these ridiculous gifts. He doesn't win often, but when he does, you have never seen a happier boy.
In my personal opinion, the fireworks are the best event of the evening. When I was growing up, I lived for the fireworks, I would exclaim over how beautiful and colorful, and how grand and large they were, never realizing that they only went about five feet in the air at best. The whole community tricked all of us youngster into believing that this firework show was the best around. And so, when I finally happened to see REAL fireworks at Disney Land I was in shock. So THIS is what big fireworks actually looked like.
I miss summer, but mainly I miss the memories and fun times that it brings. I never thought growing up that I would ever want to be young again. But looking back now there's somethings that you appreciate so much more when you are younger. You appreciate the day, and live in the moment always ready to explore and jump into the cool water, making summer, not just another season, but a lifestyle.
Mostly, it reminds me of Fourth of July. The party of a life time. Where I live, we have a get-together with all of the neighbors at our local fire station. This means there is at least 30 people there. When I was younger I lived for this day. The water balloon fight with all of the kids, giggling and laughing as we got soaked with red, white and blue balloons. The enormous amount of red jello that accumulated at the pot-luck along with corn on the cob and sliced watermelon. The best part, in some peoples eyes, was the raffle. This one celebration may have caused a gambling addiction in my family. My brother lives for raffles where cheep bottle of wine, a bird house, and a welcome mat are the nicest prizes. He will spend dollars and dollars of my parents money to win one of these ridiculous gifts. He doesn't win often, but when he does, you have never seen a happier boy.
In my personal opinion, the fireworks are the best event of the evening. When I was growing up, I lived for the fireworks, I would exclaim over how beautiful and colorful, and how grand and large they were, never realizing that they only went about five feet in the air at best. The whole community tricked all of us youngster into believing that this firework show was the best around. And so, when I finally happened to see REAL fireworks at Disney Land I was in shock. So THIS is what big fireworks actually looked like.
I miss summer, but mainly I miss the memories and fun times that it brings. I never thought growing up that I would ever want to be young again. But looking back now there's somethings that you appreciate so much more when you are younger. You appreciate the day, and live in the moment always ready to explore and jump into the cool water, making summer, not just another season, but a lifestyle.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
The Perfect Day.
I just had the perfect day. I came home from college for the weekend to give away a VERY "prestigious" award. I was crowned Almond Queen of my town last year, and so, for the sake of tradition I had to give away my crown to the newly awarded Queen as well as give a speech. Being back in the town hall surrounded by people that I grew up with, that have known me since I wore dippers, (or sometimes ran around naked) made me feel proud, as well as conscious of the fact that I am so happy that I moved away. It is not that I don't love the small rural town that I live in, it just takes something like moving away to make me realize how much it means to me. Anyways, that night was full of fun laughter and awkward moments, one of the best parts was that my best friend, and my close friend got the crown, and first runner up. It made me so proud to see people I have grown up with perform so well on a speech in front of everyone they love.
The next morning the fun part arrived. I am so used to being able to sleep until at least ten every day in college. But not this morning. My brothers and sister woke me up with a GREAT song they created called "you're not the queen anymore." It was the most annoyingly awesome way to wake up after being away from them for so long. It's my bothers 27 birthday tomorrow and so, I decided to give him the gift of dressing up in lots and lots of layers and being his human paintballing target. I now have many welts on my back, but it was totally worth it to see my bothers looks of joy as they pressed the trigger and let loose as I ran like a chicken with my head cut off across our lawn. For the sake of old birthdays, my dad decided to make all of the "kids" meaning the youngest being me... a scavenger hunt. Let me just tell you, whoever you are, that I am REALLY good at scavenger hunts... I lagged behind at the end to give all the "big kids" a chance to find some clues. I was on fire.
This whole day was just perfect. It made me miss being a little kid again. Just hanging out with my brothers and sisters. Its hard to top the good ol' days. But I think this weekend did.
Back to reality, got to do some homework.
I hope who ever you are who reads these AWESOME posts of mine can ALL have a wonderfully perfect day like this in the future, all that bring you back to your childhood, and make you excited about the future.
The next morning the fun part arrived. I am so used to being able to sleep until at least ten every day in college. But not this morning. My brothers and sister woke me up with a GREAT song they created called "you're not the queen anymore." It was the most annoyingly awesome way to wake up after being away from them for so long. It's my bothers 27 birthday tomorrow and so, I decided to give him the gift of dressing up in lots and lots of layers and being his human paintballing target. I now have many welts on my back, but it was totally worth it to see my bothers looks of joy as they pressed the trigger and let loose as I ran like a chicken with my head cut off across our lawn. For the sake of old birthdays, my dad decided to make all of the "kids" meaning the youngest being me... a scavenger hunt. Let me just tell you, whoever you are, that I am REALLY good at scavenger hunts... I lagged behind at the end to give all the "big kids" a chance to find some clues. I was on fire.
This whole day was just perfect. It made me miss being a little kid again. Just hanging out with my brothers and sisters. Its hard to top the good ol' days. But I think this weekend did.
Back to reality, got to do some homework.
I hope who ever you are who reads these AWESOME posts of mine can ALL have a wonderfully perfect day like this in the future, all that bring you back to your childhood, and make you excited about the future.
Friday, March 4, 2011
10 RanDom FacTs aBouT mE
1. I have millions of pet peeves. Just some of them include: people waking me up before I'm ready, the sound of people chewing, wet towels, when people laugh at their own jokes, when people write ILY, when people use the word tender to describe the texture of food.... well you get the point.
2. I make up words, or sometimes I forget to use the WHOLE world. Like the other day, I was talking to my sister, we were talking about reproductive organs, (don't ask me why...) but I called them productive organs instead... I also said structions instead of Instructions... embarrassing things like that. These little things make me the laughing stock of my whole family.
3. I am horrible with directions and maps of any kind. I have no scene of where things are in accordance to each other, including states and countries. This also makes me the laughing stock of my family... hummm what doesn't make me the laughing stock of my family?
4. I have a burn my belly button that's in the shape of a circle. I got it from my brother and sister when I was three or four. They were playing doctor and decided they needed to examine me a little closer, so they took my dad's reading lamp that had been on for the whole day, and pressed it against my skin. Thanks guys, way to ruin my modeling career.
5. The idea of outer-space scares me, and the idea that the world might end in 2012. I don't like to think or talk about them.
6. One of my goals in life is to publish a book before I die.
7. Relationships scare me. Independence is so important to me and the idea of loosing that always makes me uneasy. I also hate counting on other people, and the fact that they could let me down, or I could let them down scare the living daylights out of me. Yet, recently I feel like I could take that leap and still trust myself. I just need to find the right person.
8. I didn't have a laugh until my sophomore year of high school. I would giggle silently or shake uncontrollably but I never made a sound. Then, one day my friends and I tried to keep our giggles and laughs in a bottle of air, hoping to save them for days when we weren't feeling happy. I tried out a lot of different laughs that day until I found one that fit me.
9. I have a fear of being a bad kisser. Lets call it... malusbasiumophobia (bad kiss in latin...)
10. I love the rain, it makes me smile and rejoice in life. I also think its the most romantic thing ever.
2. I make up words, or sometimes I forget to use the WHOLE world. Like the other day, I was talking to my sister, we were talking about reproductive organs, (don't ask me why...) but I called them productive organs instead... I also said structions instead of Instructions... embarrassing things like that. These little things make me the laughing stock of my whole family.
3. I am horrible with directions and maps of any kind. I have no scene of where things are in accordance to each other, including states and countries. This also makes me the laughing stock of my family... hummm what doesn't make me the laughing stock of my family?
4. I have a burn my belly button that's in the shape of a circle. I got it from my brother and sister when I was three or four. They were playing doctor and decided they needed to examine me a little closer, so they took my dad's reading lamp that had been on for the whole day, and pressed it against my skin. Thanks guys, way to ruin my modeling career.
5. The idea of outer-space scares me, and the idea that the world might end in 2012. I don't like to think or talk about them.
6. One of my goals in life is to publish a book before I die.
7. Relationships scare me. Independence is so important to me and the idea of loosing that always makes me uneasy. I also hate counting on other people, and the fact that they could let me down, or I could let them down scare the living daylights out of me. Yet, recently I feel like I could take that leap and still trust myself. I just need to find the right person.
8. I didn't have a laugh until my sophomore year of high school. I would giggle silently or shake uncontrollably but I never made a sound. Then, one day my friends and I tried to keep our giggles and laughs in a bottle of air, hoping to save them for days when we weren't feeling happy. I tried out a lot of different laughs that day until I found one that fit me.
9. I have a fear of being a bad kisser. Lets call it... malusbasiumophobia (bad kiss in latin...)
10. I love the rain, it makes me smile and rejoice in life. I also think its the most romantic thing ever.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
High School
The town I went to high school in was definitely original. For me, it wasn't a matter of if I liked it or not, it was more about the fact that i never thought I fit in. Maybe I thought too much about the future, or wrote too much, or ate too much organic food and didn't go hunting enough. What ever the reason, I felt like I could never quite find my group. So I was always on the outside, not ready to leap, afraid that if I did, I might end living someone elses story.
I look down.
Boots
Muddy, scuffed
old
Students wear them
With out a care in the world
Here in the country
You’re more of an outcast
The more you try
To fit in
Here in the valley
People see you as strange
If you don’t drive a truck
Or if mud isn’t stuck
On your bumper.
I look up
Faces
Faced with pressure
Alcohol.
Friday nights.
Parents farm here
Violence end most family fights
Getting kicked off the team
Is the greatest worry
They grow here
And then there’s no hurry
To leave this town
To start out on their own
It's not much
I can
Assure ye.
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