Things I Can't Stand.

I am a pretty tolerable person. 

To an extent. 

Then, if you screw up anything I'll hate your guts. 

Okay not really. 

But, some things just annoy me to the point that I actually do think of doing a hair-pulling-kick-your-teeth-out-come-any-closer-bozo-I'll-use-your-baby-maker-as-a-punching-bag maneuver that would bring even the kindest of people to their knees. 

I think I may be in a grumpy mood. 

Well, you know what they say? 

Cool off and write a blog about it.

I am very much aware of the fact that... no one I know says this.

Whatever.

Here it is, a list of things that piss me off on the regular. 

1. When guys refer to a girls period as her "issue" "that time of the month" "problem" "it" or any other hateful phrase. 

Yes, I understand it's not the cutest thing, but grow up, it shouldn't be that hard to come to terms with.

2. When girls randomly give you the stink eye at a party 

Uh, bitch, I don't know you but you should know that I'm not trying to sleep with your Fratty boys so continue your prowl and back the heck up. 

3. When people interrupt my movie by talking or by chewing so loud I can't hear the words. 

Really? You're going to interrupt me? NOW? Just shut the F* up and watch Ryan Gosling get his mack on. Damn boy.

4. Bejeweled butt pockets on bell-bottoms. Or any pants for that matter. 

Yeah 'cause those look fancy? No, they make your butt look like a prostitute.

5. Guys that talk in a gangster voice when they are some of the whitest kids you know. 

Seriously? You come from the suburbs. Your parents take you to church every Sunday. 

So I aint' trynna' hear you talk 'bout livin' in 'da Ghetto. 

6. People that get (actually)  pissed when you don't text them back.

No, I don't hate you, I just left my phone in my *Unbejeweled* pants pocket because I hate having to answer silly little questions like "yo, what up?"

7. People who are less competitive than me, but are better at sports/games than me. 

Seriously God? Give the talent to someone who will use it for evil instead of sweetness. Then I'll kick their ass and make them cry. Everyone wins. 

8. When girls drink flavored vodka. 

Lemon flavored? Really? Have some class. 

9. Anybody who acts like they know anything about farming. (Who is not a farmer.)

I am NOT AT ALL saying I know anything about farming, but people who start shoutin' out facts like they know their shit when the closest they've ever been to a farm is through meat they order at McDonald... than this girls got a problem.

10. And the big-y. Girls who wear NOTHING out on the weekends. 

It is seriously 30 degrees out, your legs look like a turkey that was freshly plucked and you think you look cute?? Just, stop. Go back home, rethink the skirt and put on some sneakers, because we both know you are going to lose those shoes drinking too much flavored vodka tonight anyway.  

I know I sound like a bitch. But that's only because I am acting like a total bitch. 

(name that movie guys...)

I really DO love girls most of them are sane and kind and nice, but there's the occasional rotten egg that makes my nose scrunch up in disgust. 

Okay, I need some sleep. I promise I will be in a happier and more kind mood tomorrow.

p.s. the movie's Mean Girls if you didn't get it.