An Ode Of A Farmers Daughter (A Tale of Survival).

Right off the bat, I am telling you this: I do not claim to know the first thing about farming.

Sure, I grew up on a farm. 

And maybe I do know a little on the topics of soil types, legumes and plant identification...

But, I also know about as much on the topics of alcohol types, canned soup and Frat I.D. 

 ...

I'd say I'm a pretty bad farmer if I am one. 

But, I also can't avoid the fact that I know more than the average Jo when it comes to knowing names of trees I pass on I-Five. 

Here's my story.

When me and my friend were making the seven hour trip home from school for the holidays, 

(his trip was actually somewhere near 11 hours.)

 I came to the conclusion that I (Hannah Rose Muller) would be better off than most if there were to be some sort of strange epidemic in the United States. 

I often have these strange thoughts if I'm sitting in a car for too long listening to Christian Pop music.

(Don't ask.) 

What made this striking realization hit me you ask?

It was during one of our hours of driving (hour 4) when I started playing the "guess-that-plant" game with my pilot. 

I was co-pilot for the duration of the drive. 

(More on my fear of driving in another post)

We had just finished playing the

"relate-every-sign-you-see-to-Harry-Potter" game and we were looking for something new and exciting. 

(Or he was, I was completely happy with playing that game for 4 hours straight.)

Anyway, long story short...

He though I was pulling his leg (yeah, I know, who says that anymore?) when I said that I could indeed name most every tree and crop we passed. 

...

It had never occured to me that when some people are driving down a freeway or highway they don't say to themselves or their neighbors...

"WOW WHAT BEAUTIFUL GRAPES!"

or

"WOW LOOK AT THAT RICE PATTY"

or

" WOW WHAT A PLENTIFUL WHEAT CROP THIS YEAR!"

(okay, I'll admit I don't ever say that either, but, I at least know what it is!)

So, that's how I came to the conclusion that, given some horrible catastrophe I would fare alright. 

More so than the people who don't know that you can pop corn that's still on the cob. 

(dried of course, duh.) 

Or people who don't know how many teats a cow has.

Or, people who don't even know what a teat IS.

What it really comes down to is this, yeah, I may not know my flower families perfectly and I still have trouble picking a perfectly ripe watermelon...

(Yeah, yeah, dried tendrils I get it!)

but I have picked up on a lot from simply living a farming lifestyle for the last 19

(ALMOST 20) 

years of my life.

...

So, watch out vampires, zombies or aliens, because I'm not going down without a fight!