I'm Leaving.

Goodbye everyone!!!

I will try to update soon. 

Or maybe some of my friends and siblings will be kind enough to write a little ditty once in a while. 

 

Things I'm Going to Miss.

Let me say first and foremost that I am DAMN excited to adventure into the land of the unknown in less than 48 hours. 

Damn excited, I say.

Now that I got that out in the open, comes the REAL reason that I wrote this blog post:

My sister asked me the other day (after I had been home for a whopping six hours) if I had to choose between leaving the Capay Valley forever or having to stay in the Capay Valley forever, what I would pick.

 If you had asked me two years ago I would answered honestly in a heart beat, 

'get me as far away from this place as possible. I don't want to ever come back.' 

Harsh. Yes. I know. 

But when you live close to something for so long you start to despise everything about it. 

Especially when that place has annoying siblings, high school memories and chickens. 

Yet, the other day when my sister asked me that question I actually said that I would stay. 

STAY, I SAY!! 

Crazy. I know. 

But the truth is,

I love the people here.

 I love the community and the way that everyone knows everyone. 

I love that we all share a connection and passion for food and learning. 

And yes, I understand that staying here forever would mean missing out on a lot of adventures, but if I can't be surrounded by the people that I love I don't want to experience any of it. 

I love sharing my life with the folk of Full Belly Farm and the Capay Valley... and even Eugene Oregon.

 I can't picture my life with out those people and as I travel to distant places and experience new things that becomes much more clear. 

So, in memory of those times, friends and family members that I am going to miss a whole heck'of'a'lot when I am away I give you this:

 A list (in no particular order) of some fun times that I am going to cherish no matter when in the world I am.

The Roommate. Pretzel Price.

I hate to say this, but I actually think I will miss studying for classes. Yeah. Wow.

Good friends and great study parties.

Sunshine in Eugene.

Well, the Urban Farm o'course.

Walking to classes.

The kind of beautiful place I call home.

These folks. They're pretty swell.

Best friends.

Drinking wine with the family. (Ignore the wine teeth.)

Sunshine with the siblings in Lake Tahoe.

My sister....

The sillyness and giggles.

The romance.

Do you think that they have Frozen Yogurt in New Zealand?

Half-drunk and fully silly photo sessions with the Roommate.

Well, it's been fun ya'll and I know I'll be back soon... maybe then I actually WILL stay in one place forever. 

As of now... Ta'ta and see you on the other side.

xoxox

Farmer Girl.

Life is Good.

I am leaving in two days for Australia. 

TWO days. 

I hope you all understand the lack of consistent blogging these days. 

The only thing that is consistent at this moment is a sense of panic. 

And a sense of "Eeeeekkkkk"

I have a To Do List about as long as myself....

 I have an ever growing backpack that looks mighty small compared to all of my supplies lying on my bed and a room that looks like a tornado just ripped through it.

But, life is good. 

Life. Is. Good. 

(I think I may be spending a littttttle too much time at REI.)

I have been home for almost a week, feeding baby animals, painting toe nails, laughing uncontrollably, eating incredibly good food and I just got my term grades back with a whopping 4.0. 

I told you folks. 

Life is good.

I can not wait for my adventure, it will be the grandest and funnest I am sure. 

But, as of now the idea of getting on a 14 hour plane ride to a country I know nothing about and figuring it all out on my own...

Well,  it just seems a little daunting that's all. 

I hope to do at least one more blog post before I head out for two and a half months. 

I don't know what the internet and blogging ritual will be like on my trip.

But I am going to keep a daily journal.

And take PLENTY of photos

And I will have an email list hopefully.

If you would like to be included in the list of emails I send to...

PLEASE feel free to leave a comment below. 

<3

My Trip... In Three Weeks

All I can think about is my trip in three weeks.

THREE WEEKS YOU GUYS!

I am leaving for Australia in THREE. SHORT. WEEKS!

These day have been filled with trekking across campus to the financial aid office, classes, my advisers office... 

Which is good, seeing as how I am trying to get in good shape for this summer and my trip 

(Which is in three weeks)

I am going to be in Australia in THREE WEEKS! 

DID YOU HEAR ME??

I will be taking a backpack and not much else. 

I will be traveling by myself!

I will be meeting new people and trying to figure everything out. 

BY MYSELF!!

IN JUST THREE WEEKS! 

I can barely see my homework assignments, let alone do them.  

My eyes are swimming with the ideas of me swimming. 

And living. By myself. 

In Three Weeks. 

All of my time is being spent looking at pictures from the book I got about traveling in New Zealand. 

I have so much to do!

I have to pack all my life away...

I have to buy smart wool up the wazoo. 

I have to pack. 

I have to...

EEEEEEKKKKKK!! 

Good Bye!

Babies. Continued.

So, if you remember, from an earlier post, I plan on adopting all of my future children. 

How I see it? 

There are HECKA (I say that word sarcastically) babies out in this huge world already. 

Most of them with out good families, love or food. 

Well, instead of pushing another one out of my privates, into this crazy world of ours. 

My plan is to help give a warm, peaceful, happy childhood to those who need it most. 

I want:

To smile at those kids who don't have smiles.

To exclaim loudly and obnoxiously when they do something ordinary.

 To dance around with them before I tuck them in to a cozy bed. 

To kiss their face each morning, reminding them they are no longer alone. 

I want:

To help them explore our backyard and the rest of the world. 

To help kids turn into students and builders and adventurers. 

I WANT:

To give a child who may have had nothing... everything! 

The moon, the stars and my heart. 

As you can tell, having my OWN babies has NOTHING to do with the fact that I don't like babies... 

 I LOVE babies. 

I can't get enough of their squishy little faces and small pudgy arms.

 I love the way they smell and their big, soft, round eyes. 

I love their open minds and kind hearts. 

I love their curiosity for the little things and the way that they will love you at the end of night... 

No matter how bad the world is getting. 

I love babies so much I can't hold it in any longer... 

I am going to be an Aunt! 

My brother Amon, and his wife Jenna are having a small baby in August! 

Remember them?

The news is slowly leaking out, so I think it's about time I can tell you all. 

Because I am just so damn excited! 

I am going to love this little baby with every inch of my heart.

 When they told us about a week after New Years I instantly started crying, which surprised even me. 

I had no idea why I was so happy.

 I mean, yeah, it's a baby, it's cool and little and squishy, but did I really need to start blubbering about it?? 

Well, yes. 

I did. 

I do.

Because, being someone who believes that everyone deserves to be hugged, warm and well fed.

I feel happy.

Because, if there are any fit and capable parents in the world, it's these two. 

They have enough love to generate electricity, they have a cozy home and cook delicious food. 

And

If they love this baby half as much as they love their dog Milo, I know this small lump of a thing will be just fine.

 I am going to be an Aunt, guys. 

I am going to buy baby clothes and snuggle and hold that baby until it turns blue 

(Not really, I'll be careful I swear) 

I am going to love the HECK of of that small morsel of a thing and I know that the rest of our community will too. 

I can't wait for August. 

I can't wait for the future, because this baby is just the beginning of a whole new life. 

 <3

The future Parents? 

Beautiful right?

The Best News.

I am going home. 

In less than two hours. 

AHHHHHHH!!!

I also just heard through the grapevine that J.K. Rowling will be publishing a new book. 

AHHHHHHHH!!!!

I really can't tell you which I am more excited about... 

BUT I KNOW WHICH ONE IS HAPPENING SOONERRRR!

I just wish I could disapperate to my home....

See ya' later!

*SNAP*

Here it is folks. Tattoo Idea numba' two.

This one isn't my favorite one that I've drawn... But, it's the only one I took a picture of. 

Clever right guys?? 

Because I am from a farm... so, the heart beet (like HEARTBEAT) can symbolize love or/and rooted veggies... 

and remember your "roots", like my family, farm, home, veggies, values and morals. 

WOW. 

I don't know where or when I though of the idea... 

But I'm really digging it at the moment. 

Get it??

"Digging" it 

hahaha

I crack myself up. 

Tell me what you think. 

Or don't.

 I'm pretty sure I'll like it no matter what.

 Ideas on where a cool place would be to get it?

My Views On The Unmentionables.

A couple of days ago I was talking to my sister about some of the things I put on-this-here-blog. 

It came down to her saying that a picture that I had put up of my nonboyfriendboyfriend and me was, in her words... "too scandalous".  

She told me that she wouldn't put up a picture that... let's just say "exposes some skin" on the interweb in fear of our grandmother or her future employer stumbling across them and gasping in shock. 

Well, much to my sadness (because it is just a darling picture of the two of us) I took the picture down not a day after I had put it up because I understood where she was coming from and then I sat around thinking about my next move... 

Pondering if you will. 

Well, something wasn't sitting right with me...

And this is why-

I told myself a while back that I was not going to edit anything out.
I was not going to censor my life for those who may or may not read my blog. 

 Anddddddd...

My grandmother already thinks I'm scandalous...

(See Previous Post) 

(Yes, she loves me, but she is also not oblivious to my boy-sca-spades in the past.)

As for the others in the world? 

well 

This is what I think.
I think I don't like keeping secrets. Secrets lead to speculation. Speculation leads to drama, rumors and s.***-talking.
If you are out right about something, then others have to be out right about it too.

I say, if you aren't doing something you want to tell the world about, you shouldn't be doing it at all.

I say, if someone was to write a intimate life story about the going's on in your life you should want to tell them everything, not cower away from who you are or who you were.

But, on that note, I do know that everyone has "those stories" the ones you don't bring up around your family, the ones that are burned in to your brain as some of the lowest moments of your life. 

...

Yet, I understand that each thing you do reflects your character and your future. 

So why not own up to the mistakes? For those mistakes are what make you stronger.
 Those mistakes make you, you.

My strive for honesty and passion should not be taken lightly. 

I am going to post from the heart because writing from anywhere else would just be silly.

But, on that note I am also not going to post the picture again, sorry.

My weekend with Bill, my N-B.B and his parents.

Long title for a long (yet wonderful) weekend. 

Yesterday I went to see Bill Cosby with my non-boyfriend boyfriend and his parents. 

They had gotten him tickets to see the show for Christmas and because he would rather DIE than go anywhere without me, I became his plus one.

tehehe

When he came over to my apartment before the show I was kinda well, freaking out. Big time.

To put it bluntly. 

I don't know if I was nervous for "the meeting of the parents", or if it was just another one of "those days" but I could not pick an outfit for the life of me. 

And it didn't help that my Non-boyfriend boyfriend kept telling me I would look fine in anything I picked out, but to please hurry.

NOTE TO GUYS- DON'T EVER SAY THAT TO A GIRL WHEN SHE IS MEETING YOUR PARENTS FOR THE FIRST TIME.

There is a right and wrong outfit. 

And to pick the wrong one in her mind would be disastrous.

Well, as it turned out what I wore was fine, no one seemed to notice much anyway. 

Maybe that's a good thing. 

Who knows. 

All I DO know is that Bill Cosby still has it. 

Even in his old age, he's one funny guy. 

I love the fact that comedians get paid to sit on a stage for two hours and talk about their lives. 

They really got it figured out. 

Next

We went out to eat at a fancy-pancy restaurant and watched two men get incredibly intoxicated. 

First they knocked a wine glass full of wine to the floor as they reached for each other across the table.

(Then one stood up to leave and tripped and feel on his chair and hit the floor. HARD.) 

It was one of the saddest/wackiest things I have seen in a while. 

meanwhile..

The parents were sweet. 

Son is just like Father.

Mother and I bonded over some cute/embarrassing stories of the Son. 

Food is delicious. 

Then we went back to my apartment had the perfect evening all to ourselves that included wine, Break the Safe, (which is an incredible board game that every couple should purchase) coming up with our own drinking games that included the pieces from Break the Safe and drawing on each other with markers. 

I drew a pretty RAD heart radish that couldn't be topped.

Overall, I would call that Saturday evening one of the better ones I've had in a while.

Now off to do homework and boring stuff. 

Oh wait, whats that I hear? You want to see a picture?

Here he is guys and gals the one, the only... Non-boyfriend boyfriend! 

Isn't he cute??????

An Ode Of A Farmers Daughter (A Tale of Survival).

Right off the bat, I am telling you this: I do not claim to know the first thing about farming.

Sure, I grew up on a farm. 

And maybe I do know a little on the topics of soil types, legumes and plant identification...

But, I also know about as much on the topics of alcohol types, canned soup and Frat I.D. 

 ...

I'd say I'm a pretty bad farmer if I am one. 

But, I also can't avoid the fact that I know more than the average Jo when it comes to knowing names of trees I pass on I-Five. 

Here's my story.

When me and my friend were making the seven hour trip home from school for the holidays, 

(his trip was actually somewhere near 11 hours.)

 I came to the conclusion that I (Hannah Rose Muller) would be better off than most if there were to be some sort of strange epidemic in the United States. 

I often have these strange thoughts if I'm sitting in a car for too long listening to Christian Pop music.

(Don't ask.) 

What made this striking realization hit me you ask?

It was during one of our hours of driving (hour 4) when I started playing the "guess-that-plant" game with my pilot. 

I was co-pilot for the duration of the drive. 

(More on my fear of driving in another post)

We had just finished playing the

"relate-every-sign-you-see-to-Harry-Potter" game and we were looking for something new and exciting. 

(Or he was, I was completely happy with playing that game for 4 hours straight.)

Anyway, long story short...

He though I was pulling his leg (yeah, I know, who says that anymore?) when I said that I could indeed name most every tree and crop we passed. 

...

It had never occured to me that when some people are driving down a freeway or highway they don't say to themselves or their neighbors...

"WOW WHAT BEAUTIFUL GRAPES!"

or

"WOW LOOK AT THAT RICE PATTY"

or

" WOW WHAT A PLENTIFUL WHEAT CROP THIS YEAR!"

(okay, I'll admit I don't ever say that either, but, I at least know what it is!)

So, that's how I came to the conclusion that, given some horrible catastrophe I would fare alright. 

More so than the people who don't know that you can pop corn that's still on the cob. 

(dried of course, duh.) 

Or people who don't know how many teats a cow has.

Or, people who don't even know what a teat IS.

What it really comes down to is this, yeah, I may not know my flower families perfectly and I still have trouble picking a perfectly ripe watermelon...

(Yeah, yeah, dried tendrils I get it!)

but I have picked up on a lot from simply living a farming lifestyle for the last 19

(ALMOST 20) 

years of my life.

...

So, watch out vampires, zombies or aliens, because I'm not going down without a fight!

My Best Friends Could All Be Models.

I was reading this blog book and ran across a lady who called her fashion sense-- You will never guess it..

She called herself a "Candy Witch."

I think this term describes my friends pretty perfectly. 

And also--

I am kind of obsessed with this new saying.
Now

Sometimes I call my dad a candy witch. 

When I was young, me and my friends would dress up in beautiful dresses and skirts and run around our farm, this slowly morphed into full on photo shoots as my friend got more into photography and we all got more into fashion. 

I love looking at these pictures now.

I am uploading just a few that I have on my computer, but mind you these model shots go WAYYYYY back. 

Back to the days where we would dress up as pirates and princesses and dance around in our underwear.
Two of my best friends (The ones pictured here) have been my friends for my whole life, they are coming up to Lake Tahoe for New Years and I can't wait to spend some more time with them both. 

I am so fortunate to have such beautiful, kind, loving and wonderful best friends. 

My Future Garden

What do I live for?

A striking realization hit me as I rode my bike yesterday. As the wind swept through my hair and the fall leaves spiraled to the ground all around me, I was caught in a moment of bliss and happiness... and of course, wonder.
I wonder a lot of things. I wonder a thousand strange things each day and one of them is this: Some people say we are mere products of fate and chance, but are we?
As I sat on my cushioned bike seat marveling at the beauty and complexity around me and yesterday I came to this conclusion:

We are not controlled by chance. We control our choices.

This dawning made me realize something else. I really don't like some of the choices I have been making in the past year surrounding my health, family, friends and school. Now, I could just realize that, yes it's me who's making those poor decisions and the only fool proof way to stop them is to stop it. But when I am in the moment of choice it always comes back to this:

I believe each persons life is what they make it. When I get to the end of my life there will only be one question I ask myself and that is: Did you do it all?

Now, with this thought in mind it's sometimes hard to determine ground breaking choices that I will look back on my life with pride and wise eyes and feel proud and the choices that, while they may seem like a perfect example of living my life to the fullest at the moment, leave me feeling empty and wishful that I could go back and delete that split second decision forever.

I asked the people who have seen and heard it all from me for my whole life-- my two best friends. I asked them if they could please remind me who I am because at the moment I was having a hard time remembering. What I stand for, what I live for and what I hold closest to my heart. Because being away at college and away from those constant reminders of why I live is challenging and sometimes I need a wake up call from a person who has seen me at me worst and isn't afraid to tell me that you are pretty damn close to it.


My best friends advice?

"Sit in a garden."

Now to you, that may not seem like the kind of advice you are looking for after some of the stupid choices we all make in our everyday lives. But to me? Sitting in a garden IS what I live for.

Being alone in a garden reminds me that I am independent. I love sitting, walking, running and sleeping by myself and sometimes I need a reminder of how much I enjoy my own company rather that fill my seconds with blurred faces and snuggle buddies. It is a constant reminder that I'd rather wrap myself in a blanket and fall asleep to Pandora.

Being alone in a garden reminds me of family. My family will and has always been there for me. They know who I am and what I need to hear. Sometimes what I need to hear is not always what I WANT to hear, but my family (extending to friends as well) is a constant reminder of love and security.

Being alone in a garden reminds me of food. You may think it's strange that food is important to me, but when you live on an organic farm your whole life you find comfort in the fact that you are putting some of the very best products into your body. When I am away at college this is a hard one for me to remember. Being surrounded by convenience rather than value... it is so tempting to cave away from those moral lessons I was raised with. As is filling my body with harmful food and drink. But eating healthy reminds me of how much care I want to give to my precious body each day. 

I think that this was just the advice I needed at the moment to remind myself that my choices are not only affecting me, but the people around me. I need to make them wise ones that I will look back on and feel proud of making. Where do I know I can find good choices and decisions waiting for me? I don't know... but a good place to start? In a garden.

My Dog has got the right idea.

The place I call home.

Someone once said that home is where the heart is.

The town of Eugene is where my heart rests at the moment.
With sights like these how couldn't it?

I love it here and who would blame me. The trees change color, the sky is the perfect shade of gray and the grass always stays green. What more could a college girl ask for?