Falling Fast.

TODAY I FELT IT. 

The crispness in the air.

The gray sky.

The smell of chi. 

The smell of brown leaves...

It's coming. 

Fall is coming. 

FALL!

It has always been my favorite season. 

What is not to love?

The layers, the way that the morning air wakes you up, the football and the cozy bed snuggling.

I love fall. 

I love the colors.

 I love when I can wear wool socks once more, when I can pull out my scarves and plaid and bundle up. 

It's here. 

Happy FALL!

My Future Spouse.

I often find myself thinking about my future spouse. 

Oh, come on! 

Don't even try to tell me you don't do this.

Try to tell me you've never done this, and I'll give you a nickel. Yeah, that's right. A whole nickel. 

Well, for those of you not familiar with my dilemma here is what happens.

(and I'll reward you with your nickel later)

You are lying in your bed in the morning, dreading getting up for the day, trying to remember if you brushed your teeth the night before... and really contemplating wearing your dirty sweatpants for the third day in a row to class... 

That's before you find yourself thinking...

What if today is the day? 

What if, today I meet the person I am going to spend the rest of my life with?  

Shouldn't I look cute for him/her? 

Shouldn't I wash my hair and put on pants that don't have an elastic waist? 

Should I possibly try to look presentable today? 

Maybe put a little extra time into picking out my outfit and pluck that eyebrow hair that I've been meaning to get for a while now?

What if it's a one shot deal? 

What if, I go out into the world and see "the one" but they don't notice me because I look like a zombie girl?

Well, that's where my mind went today.

So, I got up and made some coffee. 

I wore a little make-up and brushed my hair for the first time in two days... 

I spent over ten minutes picking out an outfit and wore my fancy boots that make me look taller than I actually am. 

(Just in case I found out that my future spouse was in to tall girls) 

I did it all for them. 

My future lover. 

And you know what?

I didn't meet anyone new today. 

And no one took any more of an interest in me than when I haven't shaved my legs for a week. 

So what does that tell you?

Well, I don't know what it tells you.

But it tells me that I have to do it all again tomorrow. 

Life sometimes. 

You know?

My roommate says that I need to expect the unexpected. 

She says meeting "the one" is never planned.

Easy for her to say, she always looks cute. 

And doesn't need to wear fancy boots to make herself look taller.
She's already tall. 

Blah. 

Wednesdays.

Eating local.

A Poem

 (sort of)

Define Local:

Local.
To me it’s always been to easy.
Eating food from a hundred mile radius?
Maybe for some…

But
For me it it was something different entirely.

 Local was about eating from one of the farms in my valley,

That way, not only would I know that it was local,
But I would know that it was grown well,
The workers were treated fairly
And the farmers lead good lives.

Eating local was more than about eating local food.
It was about supporting a local economy...

My family,
Making smart decisions about what I was putting in my body,
and
Putting those who I loved first.

Now that I live far away from my family’s farm,
The ideas I had around eating local food are beginning to slip.

Paying for enough food is becoming my first priority.
Convenience is beginning to trump sustainability.
And

It breaks my heart.

Food is becoming yet another thing that I treat with a rushed attitude.

'There is no time to go to the farmers market!' 

 I tell myself.
'Does it really matter if this apple isn’t local?'
I ask myself.

Will it really make a difference?
This one bite?
Does it really matter

If I go for

One meal?

One day?
One week?

One year?

Without thinking about the location my food was grown?


My friends do it all the time!
They buy bananas with out a care!
The munch on strawberries when they want, 

Not a fear in their mind about pesticides.

 Or the fact that they are out of season.

So, why must I be burdened with the idea 

That everything I eat is somehow connected

To a bigger picture?

That what I eat is

Somehow going to matter?

But then I remember…

The difference is I KNOW the difference.
I know it does matter.
Every bite matters. 

And 

 I couldn’t truly stop caring if I tried.

The fact that I can’t get a bowl of rice and chicken from Panda Express without wanting to cry…
Makes me realize I will always have a different connection with my food than most of the world.

I know a different way.
I know that it is possible if I try hard enough.
If I care enough.

So, that is my new goal.

Local.
From farms that I know.
Local.
Supporting a local restaurant, grower or baker.
Local.
Where I can feel safe and good about the food that I put in my body.

That is my new definition of local.

And it is one that I hope that I can continue to live by.

Gosh Darn Hippies.

I never thought in my 20 years on this planet that I would be writing this post. 

But it needed to be done. 

Badly. 

Warning: This post may be offensive to some and highly amusing to others.  

Please take note, that I too believed in my fellow Hippie just a few hours ago...

Here's my story.

As I was sitting outside, enjoying the sunny 75 degree weather we had today. 

I was so content for a couple of reasons:

1. Because I could actually feel the rays of sun making me tanner...

2. Because I had just finished half a footlong sandwich from subway and I was already looking forward to eating the other half later... 

and 

3. Because there was no man trying to convert me into his religion today. 

Nope. Just calm silence on campus. 

It was glorious.

Then, I smelled something... Something bad. 

Something foul and VERY familiar to me.

 A smell that I have breathed in every first week of October for my whole life.

It was something of a mixture of man sweat, marijuana and Patchouli oil. 

It made my nostrils flair and I found my eyes searching.. 'He must be here somewhere' my mind thought quickly, as my eyes begin to water. 

Then I found him. 

A guy a few years older than me.

 He was wearing light brown khakis rolled up to show off the fact that he wasn't wearing any shoes and a green hemp shirt with a Grateful Dead bear on the front. 

His hair looked like it had been styled to match an unruly brown mop. 

'Ahhhh...' my brain registered him at once. 

'Hippie'

Usually, I would have smiled politely and been on my way... but seeing as how HE had walked up MY area of sun light to talk to his friends who had matching Grateful Dead bears on their shiny new mac book pros I was forced to listen to what he had to say.

 I mean, I sure wasn't moving from my sunny location.

Well, I mean, I didn't move at first...

Then THIS happened. 

"WE NEED TO FREE THIS NATION FROM OUR CORRUPT GOVERNMENT AND GIVE BACK THE SOVEREIGN LAND TO OUR PEOPLE. WE NEED TO LIVE IN PEACE WITH NATURE AND ANIMALS. WE ARE ALL FUCKED IF WE CONTINUE DOWN THIS PATH OF EVIL. WE NEED TO SPLIT INTO SMALLER COMMUNITIES AND LIVE ONCE AGAIN AS WE DID BEFORE THE WHITE MAN TOOK OUR LAND. WE NEED TO TRADE AND LIVE PEACEFULLY. FREE FROM OUR GOVERNMENT." 

(At this loud statement, his fellow "dreaded hippie friends" cheered)

This man, who, based on his interactions with other students was most definitely a student here at the University of Oregon.

This WHITE, college educated, marijuana smoking man was asking for WHAT? 

OH, that's right, for the land to be given back to the native people, and for us to live among them as we did before. 

I am sorry for repeating myself... BUT WHAT?? 

YOU sir, are the reason that people HATE hippies. 

You are a walking oxymoron... Or just a moron. 

You sir, claim to HATE the U.S. society and believe that by over-throwing our government and creating "CONTROLLED ANARCHY" 

(His actual words, which he followed up by stating, would "NOT BE SUCH A BAD THING") 

and kicking out the citizens of the United States of America will fix all of our problems???

I am sorry but WHAT?

...

WHERE THE FUCK WOULD YOU GO? 

You are white. You are a college educated U.S. Citizen just like the rest of us...

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT THE NATIVE AMERICANS WOULD WANT YOU TO LIVE WITH THEM? 

They would HATE you. 

They would hate your smell and the fact that you don't much more about gardening then how to grow weed plants, 

which, by the way is a medicinal herb that you ABUSE!

Stop acting like you are better than everyone because you have a beard and drink Odwalla!

You think that your lack of patriotism is what makes your better than everyone?

Your soul is JUST if not MORE corrupt then those who don't believe in drinking organic juice.

Because YOU sir, are close minded. 

You talk crap about consumerism when YOU have spent hundreds of dollars to make it LOOK like you don't give a SHIT.

You don't know the first thing about hard work. 

You fight for a cause because your friends will cheer. 

Your parents are paying for your mac-book so you can decorate it with bears from a band that you probably don't even listen to. 

And if you do listen to them, it's when you are freaking cracked out on drugs. 

YOU SIR, GIVE ORGANIC FARMERS WHO ARE TRYING TO FEED THE WORLD A BAD NAME. 

YOU SIR, GIVE ANYONE WHO WANTS TO STAND UP FOR SOMETHING REAL, A BAD NAME. 

YOU SIR, NEED TO TAKE A SHOWER, TAKE ANOTHER HISTORY CLASS AND REALIZE THAT YOU SIR, NEVER COEXISTED PEACEFULLY WITH NATIVE AMERICANS.

YOU SIR, KILLED THEIR SORRY ASSES AND THEY HATE YOU FOR IT. 

SO PLEASE, I AM BEGGING YOU... REALIZE YOU ARE WHITE.

REALIZE YOU ARE A MIDDLE OR UPPER CLASS U.S. CITIZEN

 AND THAT YOU SMELL LIKE A WALKING CLICHE.

Uggh, okay.

 It's out. I have never been so heated about something.

 I called my sister almost in tears asking her what was wrong with me. 

I was actually afraid that writing this and thinking this was making me into a republican. 

As I stated earlier, I NEVER thought that I would have to write this post, but today... for the sake of all of those who hate the kids that act like they know a SHIT about anything, this post was for you. 

Please, if you are going to try to persuade someone to follow a movement, get informed. 

If you are going to try to tell everyone they are going to hell, well, just don't. 

There is already enough bad karma and energy happening right now. 

Try saying something kind, something nice, or something positive. 

Yes, I know our world is screwed up. 

Yes I know our Government could be better... 

We all know that. 

So try a new tactic... 

Because trust me? 

Hippie? 

Yours has been done before.

Meet the Roommate.

Alright, I have put it off long enough. 

It's about time that I tell you about my roommate. 

Because my roommate is awesome. 

Simply put. 

But, to the ordinary eye, her awesomeness might somehow get overlooked at first.

Horrible, but true.

So to help you all understand her greatness and for the sake of entertainment...

I have constructed a Roommate time-line. 

And a few pictures to liven it up...

I was just going to use horrible pictures of the two of us, because I have enough to blackmail her for a life time...

But in the sake of being kind, and the fact that I don't ever want her future employer to know I have some pictures of her doing questionable things... I will save us both and keep them off the interweb. 

So, let the story begin!

It all started two years ago. 

September 20th... I think. When I had my first thought. 

^

^

Damn, this girl is tall. 

^

Damn, this girl is going to be living with me for a whole year.

^

^

Damn, this girl is freaking sarcastic. 

^

^

Damn, this girl can DRINK!

^

^

Damn, this girl is brilliant. 

^

^

Damn, this girl likes Justin Beiber just as much as I do.

^

^

Damn, this girl is awesome. 

^

Damn, this girl could possibly be my best friend. 

^

^

Damn, this girl is competitive. 

^

Damn, this girl is going to be in my wedding.
^

^

Damn, this girl is good at beer pong.

^

Damn, I am really going to miss this girl when I'm gone.

^

^

No, but in all honesty, Ellen, my roommate has been there for me through one of the most awkward transitions of my life. She has seen me go from a girl fresh out of high school... who made stupid mistakes and couldn't keep up with the roommates wit, to a slightly more focused, a lot more witty and prettier, sophomore.
She calls me out on my shit. She lets me know when I make stupid decisions and look silly in an outfit. She cooks me dinner and snuggles with me when I am a bit intoxicated. 

I know she will always have my back, because we lived too close to each other for a year, that NOT having her back would be impossible...

She knows that I will always have HER back, whether it's finding her perfect man, or punching someone in the face when they call her a tall bastard. (true story) I am already planning her wedding and planning how she is going to fit into the rest of my life. 

 I am so glad I got randomly selected to room with the tall, ginger-by-choice, sarcastic, brilliant and goofy girl that continues to be one of my greatest friends. 

I am going to miss her like crazy come spring time!  
( I know full well that she is cringing at the amount of sap that is in this post)
It is true. Our whole relationship is built on the fact that we can yell, kick and ditch the other, so me being this sweet and caring is really something new.
But, it had to be done eventually.
Sorry. 

Sometimes Weekends Are Too Short.

We all have those weekend we never want to see end.

The kind that make you wish Friday, Saturday and Sunday could be on a constant repeat button. 

The kind of weekend that make you HATE Sunday nights and YEARN for Thursday nights.

I just had one of those weekends. 

It was by far the happiest, most productive, most giggly and smiley and sunshiny I have been (and seen) in a LONG time. 

It was so, so good

I actually wanted to get up early so I would have more hours in the day.

I snuggled with lambs and with my sister and mom. 

I ate wonderful food in extremely large amounts.

I stayed up late, not to check my facebook, or to watch a movie on netflix, but to spend one last second laughing and talking with my friends. 

I got to sit in the sun, drinking a beer while doing some School reading. 

I got to eat oranges and asparagus and steak fresh from the farm...

I got to watch my beautiful friend give one of the most powerful speeches I have heard in a long time.

(My best friend Cassidy is a Senior this year and competed in the 97th Annual Almond Queen Pageant. She was running against some other incredible talented and beautiful girls and made me and her family proud by being first runner up!)  

I had a perfect weekend and yet,
After I got done with the 14 hour train ride back up to Oregon...

 I was walking around campus today and it still felt like home.

I was still wickedly giddy to see familiar faces on my way to classes and even more excited to see my roommates.

I have three more weeks up here until I am gone for spring term. 

I had the funnest time this weekend, but these next weekends are going to be jam packed...
I am going to make them

Filled with memories that I can keep with me where ever I go.

I may miss my family and home when I am away up here at school, but I know that Eugene is just as much my home and family-- so I need to make some lasting adventures these next couple weeks that I can keep in my mind where ever this spring term leads me.
SO, HERE WE GO!
 (But before we go anywhere, here are a few pictures of my weekend...in no particular order Enjoy!)

 

Dear Farm, Family and Friends,
You are the best in the world.
Thank you for filling my heart with passion,
my mind with goodness
and my soul with joy
You are the keepers and holder of my happiness.
You make me realize over and over again just how much I love life.
Thank you for creating a nest of warmth I can look forward to coming home to. 

The Coast.

I wasn't sure about writing this post. 

Because writing this post is like digging a little knife into my heart.

But, in the sake of sharing and showing beautiful pictures of a wonderful (90% of it anyway) weekend... I decided that I might as well begin prodding that knife.

It's on my mind anyway, why NOT write a blog about it...

This weekend me and the "NonboyfriendBoyfriend" went to the Oregon coast.

Long story short? 

He is no longer my "NonboyfriendBoyfriend"

Just my "Nonboyfriend"

I can't really talk about it for longer than that... 

Seeing as how my tear glands have been waving a white flag for the past two days.

What I can say is that he is one of the nicest guys I know. 

His heart is big, pure and true.

 He smiles with his whole body and lives from the tips of his toes...

Okay.

"waving white flag"
We ended on terms where I think it may ACTUALLY be possible for us to be friends.
Which I am so thankful and happy about.

Anyway, if I am up to it later in the week or year I may post something more, but as of now...

Here's a few pictures from the weekend because they are just too damn cute not to share. 

A Moment of Happiness

There is a lot of bad in the world.
So why not share some good?

FIVE GOOD THINGS THAT HAPPENED TODAY. 

(Because everyone could do with some more lists in their lives)

1. Today, I realized that the guy who always comes into my math class early and sits right next to me and smiles and blares his music ridiculously loud is actually really nice. 

His name is Rasahn and he hates math just as much as I do. He also thinks I am a good drawer and plans on studying business. He is a good guy. He just listens to lousy music. 

2. Today I got my math midterm back. I GOT AN 86!!! 

I am very proud of myself and of the fact that I may just pass my math class this term!

3. Love. 

Currently from where I sit, I can see a boy cuddling in a chair with his girlfriend/lover. 

They look really happy and although it makes me very uncomfortable seeing so much P.D.A, you gotta give it to them, they are cozy by a fire and I am sitting by myself writing a blog. 

Who's the winner in this situation called life?

4. The fact that I am going to the beach with the NonBoyfriendBoyFriend this weekend to celebrate Valentines day. 

TAKE THAT LOVE BIRDS! 

(pictures to come of course)

5. Five Dollar Footlongs. 

That is a lot of sandwich for only five dollars.

and a happy picture just because?

This is what I got from my family last year for my birthday.  It made me sooooo happy!!!

Baby Lambs.

It's lambing season on the farm right now. 

Some of you may not know what that entails.

Well, it means that baby lambs by the dozens are being born each day. 

Popping out of their mommies all bloody and cute. 

Fact.

Baby lambs may even be cuter than baby humans. 

Because baby lambs don't get baby acne.

They just get poopy butts. 

And human babies get those too. 

At the moment I am in the EMU on my college campus talking to my sister via skype.

But, because we don't want people in the office on my farm to know that we talk a lot on skype while my sister is supposed to be working... and because talking about bloody lambs infront of people I don't know would be awkward...

We are doing a silent skype.

Meaning we just write back and forth while watching each others facial expressions and laughing and giggling uncontrollably. 

It's so much fun. 

But I think everyone here thinks I've "gone round the bend" or insane whatever you want to call it.

Because

I am waving my arms like an Italian person while giggling at my computer. 

WHO CARES??? DON'T THEY KNOW IT'S LAMBING SEASON?

What's that you say? 

You want proof that baby lambs are the cutest? 

Here, here is your proof.

See? Blooooooooodddddd.

Right? RIGHT?

Treats and snoozin' snoozin' and treats.

BEST FRIENDS!!!

Hi. We are Easter eggs. COME FIND USSSS.

The only thing that may be cuter than baby lambs is baby goats.

NAHHHHHHH. CHANGE MY MIND. BABY LAMBS ARE THE CUTEST!!!

HAVE A GREATTTTTT DAY!!