Gosh Darn Hippies.

I never thought in my 20 years on this planet that I would be writing this post. 

But it needed to be done. 

Badly. 

Warning: This post may be offensive to some and highly amusing to others.  

Please take note, that I too believed in my fellow Hippie just a few hours ago...

Here's my story.

As I was sitting outside, enjoying the sunny 75 degree weather we had today. 

I was so content for a couple of reasons:

1. Because I could actually feel the rays of sun making me tanner...

2. Because I had just finished half a footlong sandwich from subway and I was already looking forward to eating the other half later... 

and 

3. Because there was no man trying to convert me into his religion today. 

Nope. Just calm silence on campus. 

It was glorious.

Then, I smelled something... Something bad. 

Something foul and VERY familiar to me.

 A smell that I have breathed in every first week of October for my whole life.

It was something of a mixture of man sweat, marijuana and Patchouli oil. 

It made my nostrils flair and I found my eyes searching.. 'He must be here somewhere' my mind thought quickly, as my eyes begin to water. 

Then I found him. 

A guy a few years older than me.

 He was wearing light brown khakis rolled up to show off the fact that he wasn't wearing any shoes and a green hemp shirt with a Grateful Dead bear on the front. 

His hair looked like it had been styled to match an unruly brown mop. 

'Ahhhh...' my brain registered him at once. 

'Hippie'

Usually, I would have smiled politely and been on my way... but seeing as how HE had walked up MY area of sun light to talk to his friends who had matching Grateful Dead bears on their shiny new mac book pros I was forced to listen to what he had to say.

 I mean, I sure wasn't moving from my sunny location.

Well, I mean, I didn't move at first...

Then THIS happened. 

"WE NEED TO FREE THIS NATION FROM OUR CORRUPT GOVERNMENT AND GIVE BACK THE SOVEREIGN LAND TO OUR PEOPLE. WE NEED TO LIVE IN PEACE WITH NATURE AND ANIMALS. WE ARE ALL FUCKED IF WE CONTINUE DOWN THIS PATH OF EVIL. WE NEED TO SPLIT INTO SMALLER COMMUNITIES AND LIVE ONCE AGAIN AS WE DID BEFORE THE WHITE MAN TOOK OUR LAND. WE NEED TO TRADE AND LIVE PEACEFULLY. FREE FROM OUR GOVERNMENT." 

(At this loud statement, his fellow "dreaded hippie friends" cheered)

This man, who, based on his interactions with other students was most definitely a student here at the University of Oregon.

This WHITE, college educated, marijuana smoking man was asking for WHAT? 

OH, that's right, for the land to be given back to the native people, and for us to live among them as we did before. 

I am sorry for repeating myself... BUT WHAT?? 

YOU sir, are the reason that people HATE hippies. 

You are a walking oxymoron... Or just a moron. 

You sir, claim to HATE the U.S. society and believe that by over-throwing our government and creating "CONTROLLED ANARCHY" 

(His actual words, which he followed up by stating, would "NOT BE SUCH A BAD THING") 

and kicking out the citizens of the United States of America will fix all of our problems???

I am sorry but WHAT?

...

WHERE THE FUCK WOULD YOU GO? 

You are white. You are a college educated U.S. Citizen just like the rest of us...

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT THE NATIVE AMERICANS WOULD WANT YOU TO LIVE WITH THEM? 

They would HATE you. 

They would hate your smell and the fact that you don't much more about gardening then how to grow weed plants, 

which, by the way is a medicinal herb that you ABUSE!

Stop acting like you are better than everyone because you have a beard and drink Odwalla!

You think that your lack of patriotism is what makes your better than everyone?

Your soul is JUST if not MORE corrupt then those who don't believe in drinking organic juice.

Because YOU sir, are close minded. 

You talk crap about consumerism when YOU have spent hundreds of dollars to make it LOOK like you don't give a SHIT.

You don't know the first thing about hard work. 

You fight for a cause because your friends will cheer. 

Your parents are paying for your mac-book so you can decorate it with bears from a band that you probably don't even listen to. 

And if you do listen to them, it's when you are freaking cracked out on drugs. 

YOU SIR, GIVE ORGANIC FARMERS WHO ARE TRYING TO FEED THE WORLD A BAD NAME. 

YOU SIR, GIVE ANYONE WHO WANTS TO STAND UP FOR SOMETHING REAL, A BAD NAME. 

YOU SIR, NEED TO TAKE A SHOWER, TAKE ANOTHER HISTORY CLASS AND REALIZE THAT YOU SIR, NEVER COEXISTED PEACEFULLY WITH NATIVE AMERICANS.

YOU SIR, KILLED THEIR SORRY ASSES AND THEY HATE YOU FOR IT. 

SO PLEASE, I AM BEGGING YOU... REALIZE YOU ARE WHITE.

REALIZE YOU ARE A MIDDLE OR UPPER CLASS U.S. CITIZEN

 AND THAT YOU SMELL LIKE A WALKING CLICHE.

Uggh, okay.

 It's out. I have never been so heated about something.

 I called my sister almost in tears asking her what was wrong with me. 

I was actually afraid that writing this and thinking this was making me into a republican. 

As I stated earlier, I NEVER thought that I would have to write this post, but today... for the sake of all of those who hate the kids that act like they know a SHIT about anything, this post was for you. 

Please, if you are going to try to persuade someone to follow a movement, get informed. 

If you are going to try to tell everyone they are going to hell, well, just don't. 

There is already enough bad karma and energy happening right now. 

Try saying something kind, something nice, or something positive. 

Yes, I know our world is screwed up. 

Yes I know our Government could be better... 

We all know that. 

So try a new tactic... 

Because trust me? 

Hippie? 

Yours has been done before.