Marry Me.

As you all should know by now, I am obsessed with weddings. 

But, the sad thing is... being obsessed with weddings is not really socially acceptable when you aren't even dating anyone. 

I know. 

Strange. 

I have come to this conclusion by the awkward look I get when I am talking to a boy and I somehow end up blurting out that I am obsessed with weddings. 

I think that they end up getting the wrong impression. 

Like, I'm one of those crazy ladies who start planning the wedding as soon as she meets a boy... 

Well, I'm not like that.... really! 

I swear. 

I am more the kind of girl who plans other peoples weddings. 

Or, dreams about weddings... 

Or, will spend hours on end looking up wedding sites and ideas on the interweb because they are pretty.
 Or, the kind of of girl who will cry at the simplest wedding videos... 

Or, the kind of girl who has been planning her wedding since she was five. 

The whole obsession thing is weird, seeing how I am not in any hurry to find "the one" and I often have a hard time believing in happy endings. 

Yet, here I am... a college educated feminist with a sweet tooth for weddings and babies. 

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME, GUYS??

Well, until I figure out the answer to that... 

I have a fever and the only cure is more cow bell...

(Or weddings)

For your listening pleasure: 

For your eyes:

Gosh, I'm strange.

Welp, off to find my future husband.... 

Bye.

Gosh Darn Hippies.

I never thought in my 20 years on this planet that I would be writing this post. 

But it needed to be done. 

Badly. 

Warning: This post may be offensive to some and highly amusing to others.  

Please take note, that I too believed in my fellow Hippie just a few hours ago...

Here's my story.

As I was sitting outside, enjoying the sunny 75 degree weather we had today. 

I was so content for a couple of reasons:

1. Because I could actually feel the rays of sun making me tanner...

2. Because I had just finished half a footlong sandwich from subway and I was already looking forward to eating the other half later... 

and 

3. Because there was no man trying to convert me into his religion today. 

Nope. Just calm silence on campus. 

It was glorious.

Then, I smelled something... Something bad. 

Something foul and VERY familiar to me.

 A smell that I have breathed in every first week of October for my whole life.

It was something of a mixture of man sweat, marijuana and Patchouli oil. 

It made my nostrils flair and I found my eyes searching.. 'He must be here somewhere' my mind thought quickly, as my eyes begin to water. 

Then I found him. 

A guy a few years older than me.

 He was wearing light brown khakis rolled up to show off the fact that he wasn't wearing any shoes and a green hemp shirt with a Grateful Dead bear on the front. 

His hair looked like it had been styled to match an unruly brown mop. 

'Ahhhh...' my brain registered him at once. 

'Hippie'

Usually, I would have smiled politely and been on my way... but seeing as how HE had walked up MY area of sun light to talk to his friends who had matching Grateful Dead bears on their shiny new mac book pros I was forced to listen to what he had to say.

 I mean, I sure wasn't moving from my sunny location.

Well, I mean, I didn't move at first...

Then THIS happened. 

"WE NEED TO FREE THIS NATION FROM OUR CORRUPT GOVERNMENT AND GIVE BACK THE SOVEREIGN LAND TO OUR PEOPLE. WE NEED TO LIVE IN PEACE WITH NATURE AND ANIMALS. WE ARE ALL FUCKED IF WE CONTINUE DOWN THIS PATH OF EVIL. WE NEED TO SPLIT INTO SMALLER COMMUNITIES AND LIVE ONCE AGAIN AS WE DID BEFORE THE WHITE MAN TOOK OUR LAND. WE NEED TO TRADE AND LIVE PEACEFULLY. FREE FROM OUR GOVERNMENT." 

(At this loud statement, his fellow "dreaded hippie friends" cheered)

This man, who, based on his interactions with other students was most definitely a student here at the University of Oregon.

This WHITE, college educated, marijuana smoking man was asking for WHAT? 

OH, that's right, for the land to be given back to the native people, and for us to live among them as we did before. 

I am sorry for repeating myself... BUT WHAT?? 

YOU sir, are the reason that people HATE hippies. 

You are a walking oxymoron... Or just a moron. 

You sir, claim to HATE the U.S. society and believe that by over-throwing our government and creating "CONTROLLED ANARCHY" 

(His actual words, which he followed up by stating, would "NOT BE SUCH A BAD THING") 

and kicking out the citizens of the United States of America will fix all of our problems???

I am sorry but WHAT?

...

WHERE THE FUCK WOULD YOU GO? 

You are white. You are a college educated U.S. Citizen just like the rest of us...

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT THE NATIVE AMERICANS WOULD WANT YOU TO LIVE WITH THEM? 

They would HATE you. 

They would hate your smell and the fact that you don't much more about gardening then how to grow weed plants, 

which, by the way is a medicinal herb that you ABUSE!

Stop acting like you are better than everyone because you have a beard and drink Odwalla!

You think that your lack of patriotism is what makes your better than everyone?

Your soul is JUST if not MORE corrupt then those who don't believe in drinking organic juice.

Because YOU sir, are close minded. 

You talk crap about consumerism when YOU have spent hundreds of dollars to make it LOOK like you don't give a SHIT.

You don't know the first thing about hard work. 

You fight for a cause because your friends will cheer. 

Your parents are paying for your mac-book so you can decorate it with bears from a band that you probably don't even listen to. 

And if you do listen to them, it's when you are freaking cracked out on drugs. 

YOU SIR, GIVE ORGANIC FARMERS WHO ARE TRYING TO FEED THE WORLD A BAD NAME. 

YOU SIR, GIVE ANYONE WHO WANTS TO STAND UP FOR SOMETHING REAL, A BAD NAME. 

YOU SIR, NEED TO TAKE A SHOWER, TAKE ANOTHER HISTORY CLASS AND REALIZE THAT YOU SIR, NEVER COEXISTED PEACEFULLY WITH NATIVE AMERICANS.

YOU SIR, KILLED THEIR SORRY ASSES AND THEY HATE YOU FOR IT. 

SO PLEASE, I AM BEGGING YOU... REALIZE YOU ARE WHITE.

REALIZE YOU ARE A MIDDLE OR UPPER CLASS U.S. CITIZEN

 AND THAT YOU SMELL LIKE A WALKING CLICHE.

Uggh, okay.

 It's out. I have never been so heated about something.

 I called my sister almost in tears asking her what was wrong with me. 

I was actually afraid that writing this and thinking this was making me into a republican. 

As I stated earlier, I NEVER thought that I would have to write this post, but today... for the sake of all of those who hate the kids that act like they know a SHIT about anything, this post was for you. 

Please, if you are going to try to persuade someone to follow a movement, get informed. 

If you are going to try to tell everyone they are going to hell, well, just don't. 

There is already enough bad karma and energy happening right now. 

Try saying something kind, something nice, or something positive. 

Yes, I know our world is screwed up. 

Yes I know our Government could be better... 

We all know that. 

So try a new tactic... 

Because trust me? 

Hippie? 

Yours has been done before.

The L word.

Love is a many splendid thing.

All you need is love.

Love lifts us up where we belong.

Love is all around us. 

Love has made a circle that holds us all inside.

I love you like a love song, baby.

Love me, love me, say that you'll love me.

L. is for the way you look tonight.

I have a strong opinions about love.

My opinion about love is that NO ONE should have the right to have an opinion about how another loves. 

Or who they love. 

Or what they love. 

Or how they love. 

Love is different for everyone. 

It wacky, strange, wonderful and beautiful. 

It can change, morph and grow.

It can be everlasting or short-lived. 

It can be comforting or dangerous. 

It can be the kind of love you see in fairy tales, or the kind that makes you want to run for the hills. 

It makes us do silly things that maybe one day we will look back on with regret and sadness. 

But in the moment it feels so perfect...

So, right... 

Oh, I bet you are wondering who I have been in love with...

As I rant about love. 

I must be a master. 

I must know all the ins and outs of love. 

Well, here it is:

I have never been "In Love" with a man or women. 

At least,

Not in societies sense of the word. 

But,

I have come to the conclusion that for me, there is little difference in romantic love and platonic love. 

I love everyone about the same. 

I do not think that love has to mean having sex. 

There is a difference between sex and love. 

(Although I think it's smart to attach the two)

I find myself falling in love with total strangers and my best friends. 

I find myself loosing myself to each of my new acquaintances.

Doing silly things to impress them. 

Trying to make them love me, like I think I love them. 

This is why I don't think I can ever hold a grudge for longer than a day. 

Because I love everyone enough that it doesn't matter if they were mean to me yesterday...

I forgive them. 

I love them and want to make it work. 

No matter what. 

I find myself running back to people that should have been left out of my life along time ago.

Yes, I realize this will one day be my downfall. 

I am thankful that I haven't ever fallen for someone who has realized that trait about me. 

Because that downfall could give them power over me.

A dangerous power. 

But, I think that love is one of those things that we should try to make work, no matter what.

If you were once in love, I believe you can be in love again.

Maybe not in the same way...

I understand that sometimes breaking up is the BEST THING someone can do to continue loving someone. 

But, I believe that love is what you make it. 

It is what you need it to be. 

It takes different forms at different times in your life.

There is a beauty in each kind of love. 

I find it ridiculous that any one person, religion, or society try to tell us who we should love.

If someone wants to marry their best friend, who are we as a society to say that that isn't real love?

The people that limit their love to sexual relationships are missing out!

Falling in love with someone makes you realize a little bit more about yourself. 

It opens your eyes to a new way of life and new part of your soul.

It opens your eyes to the wonders of each person, the ups and the downs. 

Okay, enough about love...

What I love even more?

Crushes. 

I still crush on people like I am in middle school.

I still giggle, smile like an idiot and make a fool of myself. 

I still babble and stumble around my sentences and words. 

I still become speechless if I stand too close to someone I like. 

I still replay moments in my head...

And blush when a cute person walks by.

I LOVE crushes. 

They are what make me want to look good when I walk outside. 

They are what make me walk a certain way to class.

I am way too obvious when I like someone. 

But, in my opinion, why SHOULDN'T I be? 

If I like someone, I would rather be upfront about it rather than wondering for the rest of my life

"What if?"

All that being said, the only crush I have on anything right now is this song:

Enjoy!

 

My Trip... In Three Weeks

All I can think about is my trip in three weeks.

THREE WEEKS YOU GUYS!

I am leaving for Australia in THREE. SHORT. WEEKS!

These day have been filled with trekking across campus to the financial aid office, classes, my advisers office... 

Which is good, seeing as how I am trying to get in good shape for this summer and my trip 

(Which is in three weeks)

I am going to be in Australia in THREE WEEKS! 

DID YOU HEAR ME??

I will be taking a backpack and not much else. 

I will be traveling by myself!

I will be meeting new people and trying to figure everything out. 

BY MYSELF!!

IN JUST THREE WEEKS! 

I can barely see my homework assignments, let alone do them.  

My eyes are swimming with the ideas of me swimming. 

And living. By myself. 

In Three Weeks. 

All of my time is being spent looking at pictures from the book I got about traveling in New Zealand. 

I have so much to do!

I have to pack all my life away...

I have to buy smart wool up the wazoo. 

I have to pack. 

I have to...

EEEEEEKKKKKK!! 

Good Bye!

Comics.

So, I am applying to live in the student Co-Ops on campus for next year... 

(Wish me luck! ...on what I don't know...) 

There are three houses on campus and that's pretttyyy much all I know. 

Except for the fact that their rent (including food) is 300 dollars a month. 

...

Sold. 

Well, their application is really impressive in itself. 

Along with the question:

"If you could fly a winged unicorn anywhere, real or otherwise, where would it be and why? 

Please describe in detail" 

( I did a Harry Potter reference of course) 

They also have section for an Autobiographical Statement.

Which can be an essay... song... poem... drawing. 

Well, I got inspired to do a comic.

Yeah, I know. How can they turn me away now?

Well, as you may know, I have dabbled in many of the artesy fartsey things in this world...

book making, collages, melting crayon art... you name it. 

But, Comics are not something I have dabbled in before. 

And I wasn't sure about my comic making abilities. 

(But here's the thing, I have gone on a HUGE Heroes binge and started watching them via netflix)

And there are LOTS of comics in that thing. 

(along with super heroes all trying to save the world) 

Save the Cheerleader, save the world... You know?

...

Anyway.

It got me thinking... well, couldn't IIIII do that???

Well, yes. As it turns out, I can. 

Here it is. 

 

Weekend Shenanigans!

The only things that were on my to do list today were to enjoy the sunshine and do something daring. 

Mission accomplished.

Babies. Continued.

So, if you remember, from an earlier post, I plan on adopting all of my future children. 

How I see it? 

There are HECKA (I say that word sarcastically) babies out in this huge world already. 

Most of them with out good families, love or food. 

Well, instead of pushing another one out of my privates, into this crazy world of ours. 

My plan is to help give a warm, peaceful, happy childhood to those who need it most. 

I want:

To smile at those kids who don't have smiles.

To exclaim loudly and obnoxiously when they do something ordinary.

 To dance around with them before I tuck them in to a cozy bed. 

To kiss their face each morning, reminding them they are no longer alone. 

I want:

To help them explore our backyard and the rest of the world. 

To help kids turn into students and builders and adventurers. 

I WANT:

To give a child who may have had nothing... everything! 

The moon, the stars and my heart. 

As you can tell, having my OWN babies has NOTHING to do with the fact that I don't like babies... 

 I LOVE babies. 

I can't get enough of their squishy little faces and small pudgy arms.

 I love the way they smell and their big, soft, round eyes. 

I love their open minds and kind hearts. 

I love their curiosity for the little things and the way that they will love you at the end of night... 

No matter how bad the world is getting. 

I love babies so much I can't hold it in any longer... 

I am going to be an Aunt! 

My brother Amon, and his wife Jenna are having a small baby in August! 

Remember them?

The news is slowly leaking out, so I think it's about time I can tell you all. 

Because I am just so damn excited! 

I am going to love this little baby with every inch of my heart.

 When they told us about a week after New Years I instantly started crying, which surprised even me. 

I had no idea why I was so happy.

 I mean, yeah, it's a baby, it's cool and little and squishy, but did I really need to start blubbering about it?? 

Well, yes. 

I did. 

I do.

Because, being someone who believes that everyone deserves to be hugged, warm and well fed.

I feel happy.

Because, if there are any fit and capable parents in the world, it's these two. 

They have enough love to generate electricity, they have a cozy home and cook delicious food. 

And

If they love this baby half as much as they love their dog Milo, I know this small lump of a thing will be just fine.

 I am going to be an Aunt, guys. 

I am going to buy baby clothes and snuggle and hold that baby until it turns blue 

(Not really, I'll be careful I swear) 

I am going to love the HECK of of that small morsel of a thing and I know that the rest of our community will too. 

I can't wait for August. 

I can't wait for the future, because this baby is just the beginning of a whole new life. 

 <3

The future Parents? 

Beautiful right?