Angel From Montgomery

I bought a used acoustic guitar from a grimy

pawn shop coming down highway 1 yesterday.

I own a fake Fender.

Her name is Lucy and she's beautiful.

She makes due with my poorly trained hands

strumming her strings the wrong way.

She sings sweet, the only two cords I know.

It was around exit 552,

That I began to miss you again.

So instead of calling you to rehash painful wounds,

Lucy kept me company as I sat barefoot in the sand.

On that forgotten California coast last night.

Her smooth wooden body held my hands, keeping them busy.

I was no longer empty. My lap was full of music.

I had something to distract my heart from loneliness.

And there in that solitary second the waves began

to make my sorrows into something to sing about.

My busy brain feels hushed for a moment.

Letting in the simple sound of a single tune.

I can hear the rhythm coming from me.

I am here... only here. 

More pictures!!!!

Photo update...

I'm Leaving.

Goodbye everyone!!!

I will try to update soon. 

Or maybe some of my friends and siblings will be kind enough to write a little ditty once in a while. 

 

Life is Good.

I am leaving in two days for Australia. 

TWO days. 

I hope you all understand the lack of consistent blogging these days. 

The only thing that is consistent at this moment is a sense of panic. 

And a sense of "Eeeeekkkkk"

I have a To Do List about as long as myself....

 I have an ever growing backpack that looks mighty small compared to all of my supplies lying on my bed and a room that looks like a tornado just ripped through it.

But, life is good. 

Life. Is. Good. 

(I think I may be spending a littttttle too much time at REI.)

I have been home for almost a week, feeding baby animals, painting toe nails, laughing uncontrollably, eating incredibly good food and I just got my term grades back with a whopping 4.0. 

I told you folks. 

Life is good.

I can not wait for my adventure, it will be the grandest and funnest I am sure. 

But, as of now the idea of getting on a 14 hour plane ride to a country I know nothing about and figuring it all out on my own...

Well,  it just seems a little daunting that's all. 

I hope to do at least one more blog post before I head out for two and a half months. 

I don't know what the internet and blogging ritual will be like on my trip.

But I am going to keep a daily journal.

And take PLENTY of photos

And I will have an email list hopefully.

If you would like to be included in the list of emails I send to...

PLEASE feel free to leave a comment below. 

<3

My Old Room

I am home for one week. 

I have pictures to upload from my trip home with my mom and sister and my crazy packing experience...

 I have SO much to do in this one week before Australia. 

SO MUCH. 

But right now? 

I am sitting at my dad's computer searching through old pictures from my high school years. 

One thing that I came across was this bad haircut:

Taken on photobooth of course. Push up bra and all. Classy Hannah. Classy.

Another gem I came across was my old bedroom. 

I have NO idea how I convinced my mom and dad to let me do this to my room in high school... 

But somehow I did. 

And looking at the writing NOW brings back some memories that are almost as bad as my old hair cut.

Thank goodness I have a little better sense about these things now...

A little. 

It's also

A good thing I was so pretty back then. 

Yeah. 

These old pictures are PURE GOLD. 

Uggh. 

Bye. 

I'm off to delete these pictures so they will NEVER be used for blackmail. 

My Future Spouse.

I often find myself thinking about my future spouse. 

Oh, come on! 

Don't even try to tell me you don't do this.

Try to tell me you've never done this, and I'll give you a nickel. Yeah, that's right. A whole nickel. 

Well, for those of you not familiar with my dilemma here is what happens.

(and I'll reward you with your nickel later)

You are lying in your bed in the morning, dreading getting up for the day, trying to remember if you brushed your teeth the night before... and really contemplating wearing your dirty sweatpants for the third day in a row to class... 

That's before you find yourself thinking...

What if today is the day? 

What if, today I meet the person I am going to spend the rest of my life with?  

Shouldn't I look cute for him/her? 

Shouldn't I wash my hair and put on pants that don't have an elastic waist? 

Should I possibly try to look presentable today? 

Maybe put a little extra time into picking out my outfit and pluck that eyebrow hair that I've been meaning to get for a while now?

What if it's a one shot deal? 

What if, I go out into the world and see "the one" but they don't notice me because I look like a zombie girl?

Well, that's where my mind went today.

So, I got up and made some coffee. 

I wore a little make-up and brushed my hair for the first time in two days... 

I spent over ten minutes picking out an outfit and wore my fancy boots that make me look taller than I actually am. 

(Just in case I found out that my future spouse was in to tall girls) 

I did it all for them. 

My future lover. 

And you know what?

I didn't meet anyone new today. 

And no one took any more of an interest in me than when I haven't shaved my legs for a week. 

So what does that tell you?

Well, I don't know what it tells you.

But it tells me that I have to do it all again tomorrow. 

Life sometimes. 

You know?

My roommate says that I need to expect the unexpected. 

She says meeting "the one" is never planned.

Easy for her to say, she always looks cute. 

And doesn't need to wear fancy boots to make herself look taller.
She's already tall. 

Blah. 

Wednesdays.

A Moment of Happiness

There is a lot of bad in the world.
So why not share some good?

FIVE GOOD THINGS THAT HAPPENED TODAY. 

(Because everyone could do with some more lists in their lives)

1. Today, I realized that the guy who always comes into my math class early and sits right next to me and smiles and blares his music ridiculously loud is actually really nice. 

His name is Rasahn and he hates math just as much as I do. He also thinks I am a good drawer and plans on studying business. He is a good guy. He just listens to lousy music. 

2. Today I got my math midterm back. I GOT AN 86!!! 

I am very proud of myself and of the fact that I may just pass my math class this term!

3. Love. 

Currently from where I sit, I can see a boy cuddling in a chair with his girlfriend/lover. 

They look really happy and although it makes me very uncomfortable seeing so much P.D.A, you gotta give it to them, they are cozy by a fire and I am sitting by myself writing a blog. 

Who's the winner in this situation called life?

4. The fact that I am going to the beach with the NonBoyfriendBoyFriend this weekend to celebrate Valentines day. 

TAKE THAT LOVE BIRDS! 

(pictures to come of course)

5. Five Dollar Footlongs. 

That is a lot of sandwich for only five dollars.

and a happy picture just because?

This is what I got from my family last year for my birthday.  It made me sooooo happy!!!

Birthday!

My birthday is in less than two weeks. 

I am turning twenty.

This is supposed to make me feel like a grown up.

Instead

I feel more childish each day.

I like dancing in my room just as much as I did when I was seven.

I run from my worries like I did when I was twelve.

I blush when a guy talks to me, even more than when I was fifteen.

I jumble up my words when I get flustered like I am still in kindergarten.

I haven't learned much more about math than what I was taught in eight grade.

I still can't spell to save my life, just as I was in third grade.

soooo my question for you...

When will I feel like a grown up? 

Because to me...

Even my face looks the same year after year. 

Anyway, I have a few things on my birthday list that I would like this year, and because putting my Christmas list up on the interweb worked in my favor I am doing it again...
. 

NOT THAT I AM EXPECTING ALL OF THESE THINGS. 

1. A sleeping bag.

2. A Henry David Thoreau book.

3. To come home the weekend after my birthday with the nonboyfriendboyfriend.

4. Chocolate.

5. To have the best of time on my Walk-About this spring.

6. To spend more time with my roommates before I leave.

7. To travel with my besties this summer.

8. To have my sister come and visit me before I leave.

9. A kiss from a very handsome boy. (I've got one in mind.)

10. Some fun arts and crafts pens and paper.

and one for good luck?

11. To pass my math class.

That's it. Happy early birthday to me. 

All Alone.

Hannah's life lesson for the day:

How to spend time by yourself and like it.

I love spending time by myself. 

In fact, I've realized that to stay sane, I NEED to spend time by myself. 

As much as I love or like a person, spending multiple days with them without any ME time is harmful to all parties involved. 

I think that it's because I lived on a farm.

....

I know, I know, you are saying there's not a thing I DON'T related back to the days I took goats for walks and played house with eggplants...

Well I say, suck it and listen to my story. 

When I used to get super pissed off at my family, I would run out into the orchard or down to the creek and just cool off. 

To this day, I still need that sort of break from it all. 

Some people call their besties, mom's or boyfriends...

But I have always found more comfort in the quietness of the world.

When my mom and I got into a fight after I told her about my tattoo

I went out into the orange orchard outside of my house and sat.

For hours. 

Just sat and thought. 

Now, you may be wondering why I am telling you this... Why does it even matter?

1. Because I think you should try it. 

and 

2. Because I can tell you anything about my life that's unimportant because this is my blog. 

But, mostly 1.

Being good at being alone is how I survived my first year of college.

(No, don't feel sorry for me. Please. Stop.)

When I got to college I had never before been surrounded by so many people!

They were everywhere I went! In the bathrooms, the showers, the classrooms, the sidewalks... EVERYWHERE

So, I learned fast that I needed to find an escape.

A lot of people are under the impression that when I got to college everything just clicked. Friends, classes... 

But, the truth is, the only reason I didn't got completely insane is because I learned how to enjoy my own company, a thing that most people have yet to learn. 

Last year I would take (almost daily) walks by myself, eat meals by myself, find fun people to watch or sit and draw for hours. 

All alone. 

I know it may sound like I was lonely, but really, it is and was the best. 

Once you get over the awkwardness of your own company the adventures are endless!

You see, 

I am still under the impression that people talk too much. 

Fill too many silences with unnecessary words.

And like to hear their own voices and opinions on every little thing. 

So, people, just stop. 

And listen. 

Actually listen and pay attention when you are walking by yourself down the street. 

Don't reach for your phone to text someone far away when you are sitting alone. 

Bask in it.

Enjoy just being by yourself. 

Trust me, it's fun!